Self-confidence is the key to happiness 45

          Self-confidence is not a gift from heaven, we are craftsmen. Similarly, we built a temporary or chronic lack of confidence following an unfortunate event or untoward behavior on the part of others. 

In all cases, it is not inevitable, then take our trowels and hammers: Martine Teillac, psychoanalyst, gives us 3 keys to build self-confidence:
 

Set self-confidence

According Direct 8, 75% of people lack confidence.  Who has never felt uncomfortable facing a given situation, often without daring to say and whose professional projects found themselves  hampered? deficit, even minor, self-confidence can transform certain actions to be undertaken
 in energy-consuming tests: talk about yourself in a job interview, convince a potential partner, 
pick up the phone, build or interact with its network etc…
And there is no universally difficult actions to take or not: the uncomfortable feeling will lodge where the lack of confidence is expressed, which varies according to the people. So needless to say, 
“There is nothing to fear” to an anxious person to the idea of passing a job interview because the reason has nothing to do with it.
 
   In  thesetimes orstandard dictates tobe outgoingand dynamic, it combines a little too quickly the
 lack of self-confidence with shyness.

No need to be an introvert shy back carp release stashed under  rocks to insecure in certain 
circumstances.
Because  confidence is the idea that we have of our ability to cope with a given situation. 
So, it is obviously impossible to feel sure (e) self permanently, because we do not  have all the skills necessary to cope with everything.
However, well known and recognized our capabilities allows you to feel more serene face the vagaries of our professional lives.
The consequences of lack of insurance
The discomfort that results from lack of confidence can generate a good penalizing  relational awkwardness:
  • Hesitant behavior, begging, victimization
  • Devaluation of skills
  •  Convers Ely: over estimation, arrogance etc…
In short, lack of self-confidence can lead straight to failure strategies and procrastination.
Rebuilding self-confidence
The lack of insurance or self-confidence is not inevitable:
Self-confidence is built, is shaped and maintained through technical and practical action. Martine Teillac, psychoanalyst and  psychotherapist, in an interview for Direct 8 says that construction  work is based on three aspects: 

1.  the inner speech

 
 
 
        Let exacerbate our faults and forget our qualities. “The internal dialogue (…)will condition our behavior, explains Martine Teillac.
 It can be very simple sentences, for example, I meet  my neighbor who does not say hello to me and I said “damn I suck (it).” I would have thought ” my neighbor has concerns, she did not head to that”
 and I do not put myself in question. “In other words, in our inner speech repents all that is of the order of the devaluation, the misinterpretation that disparages us and replace those thoughts with 
a more objective speech (not positive), so avoid a crippling devaluation and promote a look at itself more caring and motivating..
  .

  2. building its own scale of values: detach from the past

 

   “When we had parents who always put his finger on what was wrong, we will tend to do the same. So put the past in its place, reconsider criticism from parents, orders and build our own system of values, our own personal level, “advises the analyst.
Education and those who are responsible have transmitted wagons limiting beliefs that maintain a look and a negative mindset about ourselves. Give them their beliefs and build belief systems of our
 own, which are what we think and what we believe helps.

  3.  passage to action accompanied by talent assessment implemented

 
The transition to action, even do it in small steps rather than jumping into the deep end of  a sudden is the prerequisite of strengthening confidence because it brings us evidence of our ability every  challenge statement.
Martine Teillac offers self-evaluate, on a scale of 1 to 10, our confidence in specific situations.
 “It’s a safe bet that you’ll rarely zero point of your ability, your expertise or skills“.
 Realizing this, “you’re going to build on the fact that the estimate you were doing yourself  was perhaps not so amazingly severe and in line with the reality of behavior that you implement.” 
This finding supports the move to action, as a result of this awareness and analysis skills,
 resources, skills, talents we have, we are more likely to want to act, including outside our comfort zone.

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45 Comments

  1. I used to have a huge problem with self-confidence. It got me very nervous to talk to strangers because I lacked the self confidence to do so. It took me about 10 years before I got over it and am now a lot more confident. Not an easy task to accomplish but a crucial one to overcome, thanks for sharing! 🙂

  2. I think the most important part is the inner dialogue because self-help is the best help. But sometimes past can also act as a boost irrespective of whether it was good or bad.

  3. Self confidence is indeed very important. It's often about making a first impression. And it really helps when you're self confident. An inner speech is a very important factor in that!

  4. Self confidence takes courage to accept who you are, and showing it to others who you are. It takes time sometimes to learn and acquired self-confidence, but once you have it – you can conquer the world.

  5. Very well made article. A good amount of self confidence is half the battle won!
    I agree more strongly about detaching from the past and starting on fresh note.

  6. I agree with the second point, is very important to de-attach from the past and our failures from back then in order to start building our confidence again. We are all good at something, we just need to see it better and believe in ourselves.

  7. I had a really low self-confidence a few years back. I didn't know what do to, but then something just happened inside me. I had the talk with myself and after that I started realizing things and I'm so proud of myself and where it got me. Loved the article!

  8. Great article!
    Your beliefs can defeat the world; you will be on great things that impact the world in momentous ways. Recognize the potential of your life, otherwise your confidence in a talented future will reduce downwards and your self-esteem will also fall down.
    You will be powerful if you believe yourself as to be.

  9. Self-confidence is a toughie. I think a lot of it has to do with one's upbringing and cultural background. Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I was never encouraged to speak my mind or express myself. I think a lot of my lack of self confidence today (fear of public speaking, interacting with strangers) stems from my childhood.

  10. So agree with this post Self-confidence is everything. I also agree that your inner voice can basically act as a pep talk and boost your confidence. I do it myself also and it absolutely works. Nice post.

  11. rebuilding self confidence is not easy by any means! It take a lot of motivation when faced with events that have caused this lack in believing in oneself. I always try to stray away from those that suck the energy out of me by negativity and believe I can do anything!

  12. Who else is going to love, accept, appreciate us if not ourselves? People take for granted self confidence esteem too much that they end up not realizing how important it is to like ourselves first before being able to like/love someone else. Great advice!

  13. I do agree, confidence is extremely important, though it must not exceed and become the source of showing off! Nevertheless, being confident helps you both in love and businness, because you mind health and wellness profits too 🙂

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