Self-confidence is the key to happiness 45 188

          Self-confidence is not a gift from heaven, we are craftsmen. Similarly, we built a temporary or chronic lack of confidence following an unfortunate event or untoward behavior on the part of others. 

In all cases, it is not inevitable, then take our trowels and hammers: Martine Teillac, psychoanalyst, gives us 3 keys to build self-confidence:
 

Set self-confidence

According Direct 8, 75% of people lack confidence.  Who has never felt uncomfortable facing a given situation, often without daring to say and whose professional projects found themselves  hampered? deficit, even minor, self-confidence can transform certain actions to be undertaken
 in energy-consuming tests: talk about yourself in a job interview, convince a potential partner, 
pick up the phone, build or interact with its network etc…
And there is no universally difficult actions to take or not: the uncomfortable feeling will lodge where the lack of confidence is expressed, which varies according to the people. So needless to say, 
“There is nothing to fear” to an anxious person to the idea of passing a job interview because the reason has nothing to do with it.
 
   In  thesetimes orstandard dictates tobe outgoingand dynamic, it combines a little too quickly the
 lack of self-confidence with shyness.

No need to be an introvert shy back carp release stashed under  rocks to insecure in certain 
circumstances.
Because  confidence is the idea that we have of our ability to cope with a given situation. 
So, it is obviously impossible to feel sure (e) self permanently, because we do not  have all the skills necessary to cope with everything.
However, well known and recognized our capabilities allows you to feel more serene face the vagaries of our professional lives.
The consequences of lack of insurance
The discomfort that results from lack of confidence can generate a good penalizing  relational awkwardness:
  • Hesitant behavior, begging, victimization
  • Devaluation of skills
  •  Convers Ely: over estimation, arrogance etc…
In short, lack of self-confidence can lead straight to failure strategies and procrastination.
Rebuilding self-confidence
The lack of insurance or self-confidence is not inevitable:
Self-confidence is built, is shaped and maintained through technical and practical action. Martine Teillac, psychoanalyst and  psychotherapist, in an interview for Direct 8 says that construction  work is based on three aspects: 

1.  the inner speech

 
 
 
        Let exacerbate our faults and forget our qualities. “The internal dialogue (…)will condition our behavior, explains Martine Teillac.
 It can be very simple sentences, for example, I meet  my neighbor who does not say hello to me and I said “damn I suck (it).” I would have thought ” my neighbor has concerns, she did not head to that”
 and I do not put myself in question. “In other words, in our inner speech repents all that is of the order of the devaluation, the misinterpretation that disparages us and replace those thoughts with 
a more objective speech (not positive), so avoid a crippling devaluation and promote a look at itself more caring and motivating..
  .

  2. building its own scale of values: detach from the past

 

   “When we had parents who always put his finger on what was wrong, we will tend to do the same. So put the past in its place, reconsider criticism from parents, orders and build our own system of values, our own personal level, “advises the analyst.
Education and those who are responsible have transmitted wagons limiting beliefs that maintain a look and a negative mindset about ourselves. Give them their beliefs and build belief systems of our
 own, which are what we think and what we believe helps.

  3.  passage to action accompanied by talent assessment implemented

 
The transition to action, even do it in small steps rather than jumping into the deep end of  a sudden is the prerequisite of strengthening confidence because it brings us evidence of our ability every  challenge statement.
Martine Teillac offers self-evaluate, on a scale of 1 to 10, our confidence in specific situations.
 “It’s a safe bet that you’ll rarely zero point of your ability, your expertise or skills“.
 Realizing this, “you’re going to build on the fact that the estimate you were doing yourself  was perhaps not so amazingly severe and in line with the reality of behavior that you implement.” 
This finding supports the move to action, as a result of this awareness and analysis skills,
 resources, skills, talents we have, we are more likely to want to act, including outside our comfort zone.

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45 Comments

  1. I used to have a huge problem with self-confidence. It got me very nervous to talk to strangers because I lacked the self confidence to do so. It took me about 10 years before I got over it and am now a lot more confident. Not an easy task to accomplish but a crucial one to overcome, thanks for sharing! 🙂

  2. I think the most important part is the inner dialogue because self-help is the best help. But sometimes past can also act as a boost irrespective of whether it was good or bad.

  3. Self confidence is indeed very important. It's often about making a first impression. And it really helps when you're self confident. An inner speech is a very important factor in that!

  4. Self confidence takes courage to accept who you are, and showing it to others who you are. It takes time sometimes to learn and acquired self-confidence, but once you have it – you can conquer the world.

  5. Very well made article. A good amount of self confidence is half the battle won!
    I agree more strongly about detaching from the past and starting on fresh note.

  6. I agree with the second point, is very important to de-attach from the past and our failures from back then in order to start building our confidence again. We are all good at something, we just need to see it better and believe in ourselves.

  7. I had a really low self-confidence a few years back. I didn't know what do to, but then something just happened inside me. I had the talk with myself and after that I started realizing things and I'm so proud of myself and where it got me. Loved the article!

  8. Great article!
    Your beliefs can defeat the world; you will be on great things that impact the world in momentous ways. Recognize the potential of your life, otherwise your confidence in a talented future will reduce downwards and your self-esteem will also fall down.
    You will be powerful if you believe yourself as to be.

  9. Self-confidence is a toughie. I think a lot of it has to do with one's upbringing and cultural background. Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I was never encouraged to speak my mind or express myself. I think a lot of my lack of self confidence today (fear of public speaking, interacting with strangers) stems from my childhood.

  10. So agree with this post Self-confidence is everything. I also agree that your inner voice can basically act as a pep talk and boost your confidence. I do it myself also and it absolutely works. Nice post.

  11. rebuilding self confidence is not easy by any means! It take a lot of motivation when faced with events that have caused this lack in believing in oneself. I always try to stray away from those that suck the energy out of me by negativity and believe I can do anything!

  12. Who else is going to love, accept, appreciate us if not ourselves? People take for granted self confidence esteem too much that they end up not realizing how important it is to like ourselves first before being able to like/love someone else. Great advice!

  13. I do agree, confidence is extremely important, though it must not exceed and become the source of showing off! Nevertheless, being confident helps you both in love and businness, because you mind health and wellness profits too 🙂

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Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before 2017 0 67

Be all you can be,I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it’s hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

“Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.”
So we’re all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn’t even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.
Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

Today’s generation has taken another level of redefining ‘self’, or at least that’s what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?


If history has taught us one thing, it’s the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What’s the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?

There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. I’d like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It’s not like you can’t have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that’s it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.

How to Manage Stress with these strategies 0 74

There are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?

Is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease negative reactions to stress. Here are some of the things that can be done by just remembering it, since life is basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say– every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This will help reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

• Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for yourself.
• Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time.
• Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect your time to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.
• Manage your commitments by not over- or undercommitting. Don’t commit to what is not important to you.


• Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.
• Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.

Build healthy coping strategies

     It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how you cope in a stress journal. With this information, you can work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Lifestyle

 

Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

• Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.
• Have a sense of purpose in life.
• Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.
• Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
• Get moderate exercise throughout the week.
• Limit your consumption of alcohol.
• Don’t smoke.

Social support

     Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Changing thinking

      When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body’s stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.
• Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress.
• Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event incorrectly.
• Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event and find ways to deal with it.
• Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder to improve your communication style.

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